An idea for an SG1 fanfic......

[TheMightySpud]

But first a Question.

Please click me. (http://www.projectfarside.com/paul/sg1.txt)

Can someone (or even a few people :D read through this and see if you think I have the characters correct for this little bit??

Thanks

TheMightySpud

[Proximo]

Well the characters seem alright, certainly, although there's little to go on. The only worry I'd have is your overuse of commas.

For isntance:

"Whenever he was alone this is how he passed the time, meditating, thinking of the past, and of the future, not just his own, but of his people, the Jaffa."

I'd write this as "This was how he passed the time. Whenever he was alone, Teal'c would meditate, thinking of the future and the past; not just of his own, but also that of his people, the Jaffa."

Grammar aside, it's a good start and I'd like to see more. :)

[TheMightySpud]

Umm, yeah,

After reading that back it does kinda suck LOL......

I guess I was writing it as if I was speaking it (I always tend to do that)

Thanks

TheMightySpud

[General Phoenix]

Here's a tip - always get the basic idea down. Even if the grammar sucks and half the words are misspelled, just get your point across before it leaves your mind. :)

You can always polish it later...

[chrono]

Yeah how do you think Editors keep their jobs. ;)

It's cool that SG1 has enough people for fanfics. About time too.

[Kakaze]

There's nothing wrong with using commas. In American English classes they teach you to stay away from comma splices and try to use other punctuation, but sometimes other punctuation just ruins what you're trying to say.

I've noticed that English writers sometimes to whole single sentence paragraphs using commas...it can be a little disorienting at times, but as long as you aren't going on and on and on, comma splices are fine.

This sentence is fine, however there is always room for improvement: "Whenever he was alone this is how he passed the time, meditating, thinking of the past, and of the future, not just his own, but of his people, the Jaffa."

Try: "Whenever he was alone, this is how he passed the time: meditating, thinking of the past and of the future—not just his own, but of his people; the Jaffa."

:D

[Thor]

Sounds good!

Write some more ;)