Prometheus Erred - Novel In Progress

[seanr]

Click here to see the cover

Click here to read the first two chapters!

Please post comments, suggestions, ideas, etc. One specific questio regards the highlighted question mark in chapter two. I need help finishing the simile in that sentence.

Nifty, I remember this...

I like the cover...but unless you want the main title to get cut off you should make it a tiny bit smaller and tighten up the tracking. Give it some breathing room around the edges.

[seanr]

Thanks. The cover is actually being copletely redone, so that won't be a problem.

i loved the story, very good, now go write some more!!

[General Phoenix]

It's rather late, so I can't really think of a good simile. I did, however, take the liberty of trying out a metaphor, which can sometimes work better...

Your original line:

Karen's daughter Sandy was a four-year-old redhead with more energy than (?). Her hair was a fiery red, almost matching the color of her orange t-shirt.

Metaphor version:

Karen's daughter Sandy was a four-year-old whirlwind with fiery red hair, which almost matched the orange of her t-shirt.

Hope that helps a bit...

Also, I noticed that the senior Navy officer was named "Lovell." I assume we'll see more astronauts' names as the story continues?

[seanr]

GP, thanks!

Regarding Lovell, that was the only name I could think of at the time. I suppose he could be a relative of the famous astronaut. He's a rather minor character anyway, as the story will be focusing mostly on that little redheaded girl as she grows older. I don't plan on having any others in there.

[seanr]

Not sure I like the metaphor, ATM, though I'll file it away for possible future use. Anyone else have any ideas?

Just don't use something like "more energy than an antimatter explosion" I HATE dialog like that in scifi.