Star Trek: Retribution - Page 6

tnpir4001 · May 8th, 2011, 06:58 PM

Next one's up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OggNHuZI7Q

Anyone who's been wanting to see just how evil Drakus is, or get some hints about his true nature...this one's for you.

May 9th, 2011, 03:43 PM

tnpir4001 · May 14th, 2011, 05:47 PM

Next piece is up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v78RPZAnoA

Tread carefully in your comments.

evil_genius_180 · May 14th, 2011, 08:11 PM

Tread carefully about what? Lesbian characters? That's no biggie and nothing new. The fan series Star Trek: Hidden Frontier had several homosexual characters, Star Trek: Phase II has had a few also. I don't see the big deal. Homosexuals are just people like anybody else.

tnpir4001 · May 14th, 2011, 08:16 PM

@evil_genius: there was a brief scene in Specter involving Mitchell and then-Lieutenant Erickson that hinted the two might be lesbians, even though it was a red herring. But for that one small thing, on SFM at least, I got flamed about it and several highly inappropriate remarks were made. After that experience I just wanted to avoid the same thing happening again.

evil_genius_180 · May 14th, 2011, 10:03 PM

Trust me, I've seen some horrible remarks by homophobes on the internet, so I can guess what you're talking about.

tnpir4001 · May 16th, 2011, 01:11 PM

New long clip is up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjUoh9gzG-I

gmd3d · May 19th, 2011, 03:29 AM

Just caught up with the last vid ..

great work....... no problem with the homosexual hint as that was all it could or possible be.. done tastefully and with discretion.

That was Trek was all about acceptance in diversity ..

evil_genius_180 · May 19th, 2011, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taranis

That was Trek was all about acceptance in diversity ..

That's always been my thought on it also when they've done this kind of thing on Hidden Frontier and Phase II. Gene's vision of the future was that everyone was equal, there were no prejudices left among the human race. I think he would have approved of homosexuals being accepted as normal people (because they are normal people) in the future that he created. In fact, Gene wanted to do the TNG episode Blood & Fire back in the late '80s but the studio rejected it because it showed a homosexual couple. So, the episode didn't get done until Phase II did it.

tnpir4001 · May 19th, 2011, 02:06 PM

The most recent reply to the thread at SFM:

Quote:

I dont have a problem with gay relationships. But provoking for the sake of provoking might not be the way to go. However, that is your choice.

Comments like this are what made me say "tread carefully." I don't like being told I'm "provoking."

evil_genius_180 · May 19th, 2011, 08:05 PM

I don't get how you're provoking anything. You put an element into your story. It's your story, it's your decision to put or not put said element in there. If people see any element of the story as a provocation, then there's obviously something wrong with them. Just my $0.02.

gmd3d · May 20th, 2011, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tnpir4001

The most recent reply to the thread at SFM:

Comments like this are what made me say "tread carefully." I don't like being told I'm "provoking."

I saw nothing provoking in the scene ...... just compassion between to people that could indicate a deeper relationship or something at the very
least a friendship that could seen as a deep bond between them.

sound to me as the issue is with the poster whoever it is..

tnpir4001 · May 22nd, 2011, 01:23 PM

Next piece is up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xi_3QenkP0Q

tnpir4001 · May 22nd, 2011, 06:16 PM

Looking ahead to the next scene, I'm not even posting this over at SFM, the quality of feedback over there has been lacking lately, so the 3DG crowd is it.

I'm trying to decide if this scene as written is enough, or if it needs something more. Originally, the Fitzgerald made for an asteroid field (Reyf knew about it and also knew of a safe path through it), then dropped quantum torpedoes like mines in their wake as a means of slowing down the Romulans. That would give them just enough time to make it to the Federation side of the Neutral Zone, where the task force of three ships would be waiting and would "scare off" the Romulans rather than have them attack. I dropped that sequence as an effects-heavy sequence that didn't seem to be terribly essential (not to mention similarity to Empire Strikes Back).

Script is attached...take a look and let me know!

gmd3d · May 23rd, 2011, 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tnpir4001

Next piece is up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xi_3QenkP0Q

I thought I replied to this the other day..... my mind is going

Like the update and the direction ..

gmd3d · May 23rd, 2011, 04:23 AM

I suppose it depends on what you will do with the additional ships or if you want to keep the Fitzgerald acting as a lone ship.....

I like the lone ship idea and the asteroid field where a cat and mouse chase ensues
perhaps also aided by heavy metals within the field that mess up all sensors.

The cloaking devise is still down and you could create more tension between Bradley , Reyf during this period ... as they try to out think the Romulan ships

evil_genius_180 · May 23rd, 2011, 10:29 AM

The scene with Prentice and Reyf in the observation lounge looks great.

As for the document, the scene looks good. Its' a fast-paced scene that will most likely feature some really cool effects, so it doesn't need as complex writing as a dialog scene. The only thing I can think of it lacking is the communication with the Insignia. Prentice orders it but it doesn't happen. Or is that the next sequence following this one?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taranis

I thought I replied to this the other day..... my mind is going

It could be that vbulletin bug that makes posts occasionally disappear. I wonder if they're ever going to fix that.

tnpir4001 · May 23rd, 2011, 04:36 PM

Here's a look at the longer version of the scene, this one including the chase through the asteroid field. Which one do you like better?

evil_genius_180 · May 23rd, 2011, 06:49 PM

I'll look in a bit. I just installed a new Linux OS and I have to install LibreOffice so that I can open .doc files.

evil_genius_180 · May 23rd, 2011, 08:49 PM

It certainly adds more substance and drama to the scene. I'm not sure it moves the story along at all but those sort of suspenseful scenes rarely do. I say leave the asteroid sequence in there if you feel up to doing the effects for it. It should be cool.

tnpir4001 · May 24th, 2011, 06:32 PM

I decided to post these scene outlines at SFM and I actually got some thought-provoking feedback, on this and the previous scene. I did some rewrites, see what you think of the new version.

tnpir4001 · May 25th, 2011, 09:02 AM

Latest revision, I think this one's the one I'm going to go with.

Jedman67 · May 25th, 2011, 08:18 PM

JIGGAWATT!

evil_genius_180 · May 25th, 2011, 10:52 PM

1.21 gigawatts, to be precise.

Nice, I like the rewrite. Everything from the conversation in the observation lounge to the fight though the asteroid field flows better. Also, I like the way you rewrote how their predicament came about, as opposed to how it was caused previously.

gmd3d · May 26th, 2011, 02:24 AM

better direction .... ok ^ what he said

tnpir4001 · May 28th, 2011, 06:06 PM

Revised version of 26A is up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2kntilijiM

Starting 26B right now

evil_genius_180 · May 28th, 2011, 08:39 PM

That's looking good so far.

tnpir4001 · May 29th, 2011, 08:46 PM

First piece of 26B is up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvBCOfCjWPM

I'm particularly proud of this one...and it's just getting started

evil_genius_180 · May 30th, 2011, 12:33 AM

Nice. I like the quantum torpedoes and the Romulan ships in pursuit.

gmd3d · May 30th, 2011, 02:38 AM

looks good and very dramatic..... great